Thank You's and Something New

So first off, I just want to say thank you to every one who commented and helped me out with my blogging project for my English class. I feel like my group and I did really well and I'll keep you updated about how I did in the class as soon as I get my grade (this project was 40% of my grade).
Thanks again.

Before this project I thought blogging was dumb. Like super dumb. I used to have a livejournal back in the day with the homegurl Tina G. haha. and I used to think, "jeeze, you were a pretty self centered little girl. Always complaining or bragging about your life on the Internet." but I feel differently about it now. Maybe I'm back to my old ways where I just want to complain about how "hard" I have it in my life, haha I'm just kidding. I don't know what it is really, but I definitely got into again.

Anyways, I just out of the shower about 20-30 minutes ago. And I don't know what it is about showers but I look forward to them. It's place where I feel like I'm completely myself and I guess I just reflect on my day, my life, myself. Well, what I thought about today was how much I'm unhappy with my body, which is horrible. Believe me, I know. I know anyone and every one can tell me how there's nothing wrong with it, I shouldn't let the media/other people get to me but I can't control that. If I could just wash away all my insecurities, if I could just ignore what societies standards of beauty are, if I could just accept and be happy with what I am, I would. But the reality is I'm not.

I spend a ridiculous amount of time searching for ways to lose weight, thinking about what I could change, and looking at images of other women who I envy because of their body. I know! Not cool at all. I've been feeling like this since January and I'm tired of it. I realized I can't just wish these feelings away so I'm gonna do something about it. I'm going to make some changes. I'm tired of almost everything about myself, and I've decided to change, for the better. I thought about some changes to start with too. Here they are:

1. Exercise. And keep up with it. I have the habit of working out really hard for a short amount of time, I feel better about myself, so I stop, and just feel shitty again. So none of that anymore. I need to make my exercising habits part of my lifestyle.

2. No more drinking. Yes, I know I'm underage and during the time I'm intoxicated I feel weightless, I'm wayyy more social and just overall happy. Not so much the next morning. I know my room mates will be disappointed because I "entertain" them whenever we go out and drink, but I don't want to have to drink to have a good time. It's not good. No more poisons for my body.

3. Get involved in something meaningful to me. In high school, I never knew it then, but the Mean Green Team meant a lot to me. I used to see all those tree-plantings and beach and river clean ups and something to do on a Saturday morning since I had nothing else to do, plus I get to spend the day with my friends. Looking back now, I remember feeling good about the work I did and helping out my community. So I definitely want to do something that is actually making a difference. Even if its those little trips back home on the weekends to talk to PUC students about college.

4. Become skilled in something. Like a sport or dancing or I don't know, just something where I can be like yea I'm good at that. I'm not really skilled and much of anything other than making bubbles with my tongue. And people go from amazement to being disgusted in a short amount of time. It's time for a new talent.